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In Passing ~ OpenLinkNight 6 ~


My how time flies! Just a week ago we had our biggest response to OpenLinkNight since we got things underway.  What an amazing sight to behold…poets charging the gates, and the writes! The wonderfully penned and fantastic writes! What an absolute honor it is to be able to share with so many talented wordsmiths! I can only hope and dream that one day I may be lucky enough to perhaps hold a candle somewhere close to y’all!

This week, I’m going back to basics for me.  Simple rhyme, simple rhythm…the things that made me fall in love with poetry so very early on in my journey.  I know many prefer free verse, free styling writes, so I do hope you won’t hold it against me if I take this moment to feed my addiction 🙂

Stop on by the pub too! Claudia is your amazing host, and will be tending to the guests for the evening, and we always have grand poetic discussions! Join us won’t you, and search out and fall in love with the amazing talents you will find! dVersePoets Pub…we really are Poetry in Motion.

In Passing
Who knew that death could smell so sweet
Displayed on asphalt, August heat
No rose could hide that sickening scent
No carnation could prevent
This air that rises, a petal’s rot
Where maggots crawl through flowerpots
And soil rises up to feed
Bringing beetles and centipedes
Life force spilled against the grey
A crimson stain on life’s highway
Where machines bring hammers down
Divine plans at once turned round.
Invaded by the mind’s design
The end of breath, a lost bloodline
Taken down at peak of life
The mind of man cuts like a knife
And upon the rot in blackened eyes
The cutting scythe will claim its prize
A vessel of souls called back too soon
Dissolving now in death’s cocoon
Back to the Earth she has been called
Though now on asphalt she lies sprawled
Upon the dust of histories
Wrapped round life’s dark mysteries.
Who knew that death could smell so sweet
The loss of life, upon soul’s retreat
And trigger thoughts of awful things
This is the stuff that death does bring.
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49 thoughts on “In Passing ~ OpenLinkNight 6 ~

  1. hahaha oh you know I'll never be oneTo ruin your rhyming and rhythm funAs I do it all the friggin timeNever fear you didn't commit a crimeSo nope I won't hold it against youAs everyone should write how they want, so trueAlthough I see you turned the light off once moreAs you took this tourGoing a bit to your dark sideI'll take your word for it on the smelling sweet strideAlways enjoy these writesEven the death flightsAnd now this has gotten longThe face it facts are no matter what you choose you can do no wrong.

  2. oh i like your rhythm and rhyme…nicely done there…some great lines as well…the road kill feel is a nice touch and makes for some nice imagery… whats up with you and claudia and the death theme this week…trying to creep me out? smiles.

  3. i like this a lot tash…wondering what inspired you to write this… my inspiration came from a book i started to read "the chemistry of death" – excellent book but after the second murder i was just too sensitive to continue reading…then i read the last pages and saw my fav. character would get killed and then i thought well…let's write a poem…smilesmy fav stanza in your fine poem is..Life force spilled against the greyA crimson stain on life’s highwayWhere machines bring hammers downDivine plans at once turned round

  4. A difficult subject wonderfully done. It takes a poet, doesn't it? Your rhythm and rhyme are superb..but still I shiver ~ smiles 🙂 P.S thanks so much for your wonderful comments. They mean loads to me! 🙂

  5. Ha!Claudia, my inspiration is not nearly as poetic. I had a lovely treat left for me in my drive…a good Samaritan left me a poor dead cat. At least that's the tale I'm telling myself. Must have assumed it belonged to my house. We live on a very busy road, and I don't take to such things so well…yes, I cried me a river for days after…and finally wrote this.

  6. "Who knew that death could smell so sweet"What an arresting first line Natasha. It hooked me instantly and drew me into the heart of this skilfully rhymed and intensely evocative poem. Some truly inspirational imagery here. Hugs, James.

  7. ..you said that this is where you fell in love first and i must agree.. without a doubt you weaved this right with much ease at the same time retaining the power within each line.. and though melancholic to read i find myself falling in love with your starting note and the many keen imagery.. the repetition of the first line in the last verse works so noble for this piece. A well inspired write, i should say!~Kelvin

  8. I luv ur rhyming and you hold a very bright candle. I wrote along similar lines, at least in the same zip code. Very well done.Blue ribbon: And upon the rot in blackened eyesThe cutting scythe will claim its prizeA vessel of souls called back too soonDissolving now in death’s cocoonGreat stuff. See u tonight:)

  9. That first line does pull you in. I like how your words express the intimacy between life and death and how your use of rhyme helps in this expression. It's all rhythm. Good work!

  10. To me a good poet helps us all to confront the fact we want to avoid: we are flesh, and all flesh is as the grass. I don't know if you've ever heard the English version of the Brahms Requiem, but that's one of my favorite sections. It takes courage to confront the dark and you've done it with a poem that sings..xxxxj

  11. wow a lot of death imagery this week at the pub…quite vivid too! My daughter wants to be a forensic anthropologist or forensic pathologist…she will "enjoy" reading the de-compositions tonight!

  12. Wonderful rhyme and flow in this piece, I like when you go form! The image created of this dark crawl lingers. Well done and thanks for your kind words on my poetry, I appreciate you dearly and would love to see you try your hand at a Calypso 😉 ~ Rose

  13. This is beautiful, Natasha! I love your wicked rhymes and deathly imagery – "maggots crawl through flowerpots", "crimson stain", "Dissolving now in death’s cocoon", "cutting scythe". I get a heavy Stephen King vibe from this piece. Awesome!

  14. Interesting to be reading this, after going out to my garden today and seeing the gift our neighborhood cat left on our back steps. A mini version of what you described. I was at once both fascinated and repulsed. Your words, a perfect description. Nicely written.

  15. You ever smell a skunk that's just been run over … nothing sweet about that at all..LOLLovely verse, good depth and I agree with some of the other, 'who knew that death could smell so sweet' is a great line.

  16. The very sweetness and predictability of the rhyme makes the subject even more gruesome and the contrast all the more effective between the natural symmetry of life and unnatural intrusion of man who here destroys instead of creates. I do go on, but all this is just to say I really liked it, and you can rhyme it like this anytime. Also, thanks for your encouraging words at my place. You are an inspiring person and I value working with you, and learning from you.

  17. Amazing piece, finely ground with wonderful comparisons. I sometimes wonder what the poet's near obsession is with death – it's something most of us have, and yet remains unsatisfied. I love the reference to the flowers…

  18. I feel intensely the pain of the dead cat, on Sunday we had to face a dead bear. There's something about the violence intwined with that kind of death that makes it more upsetting. So glad you transformed the pain into art, the first stanza gave me the chills. We don't want to look, to be confronted by death, but we are and you capture that so well here.

  19. i think i'll become a vegan for awhile ~ at least until i can get this line out of my head:"Who knew that death could smell so sweet"REALLY haunting! more vivid imagery than i would have expected possible in a poem. {smile} rhyming or not, your writing is amazing!dani ♥

  20. Skillful rhyming and great internal rhythm.Poor cat! I have 12 and feed 9 more strays down the road, because the people there are ignorant and don't care.Poor kittie! At least you, tashtoo, have a heart and a conscience. And are a lovely, lovey poet.I would say enjoyed greatly, but the poor kittie.Lady Nyo

  21. This is excellent. I could hear it being recited aloud as a story with dramatic effect in all the right places. Great imagery all the way around. Well done! – and, thanks again for your encouraging words my way 😉

  22. Hold it – hold it – i think you have just made me shiver Tash – and as you can imagine i dont creep easy! I loved this from the beginning – Who knew death could taste so sweet? this is a superb line – i read this line anywhere/anyplace and i am going to shiver coz its a great line… you really keep focus all thru – keeping your finger on the nerves of the reader… that line is coming out for a walk with me – brilliant and i connected with the total theme. Thankyou for your comments on my blog – i always look forward to reading them. It makes all the effort worthwhile – thanks tashPropsthat line…. oh yeah

  23. hummmm…. the talk of death always makes me hesitate…. it seemed you wrote almost analytically? You could be the poetic cop on the beat But nice rhyme and rhythm.

  24. "Upon the dust of historiesWrapped round life’s dark mysteries."Yes, indeed, Natasha! A very deep piece. So much written and so much written between the lines.For most Westerner's, death is a topic that lies beyond the fringe. I am so glad you brought it out for people to view and think about.The ancients, in their wisdom, knew that this present physical life is merely one of many, that takes us along the pathless path from life to life.Thank you for sharing. Perhaps it will wake a few up…or perhaps, get a few to think more deeply on what life, and death may be.Roger ☺The ancients all spoke of many lives, many experiences, and

  25. Awesome poem, but this stanza really stood out for me,"Back to the Earth she has been calledThough now on asphalt she lies sprawledUpon the dust of historiesWrapped round life’s dark mysteries."dark, deep and well done Miss Tasha!!

  26. Interesting the first line…. Connecting something so tragic to… Sweet! I think your meter nd rhyme are a perfect combination.It does sound tragic – the incident with the cat… I didn't get a chance to read all the comments…. This time. I'll have to come back – I like visiting your blog anyway, everyday.It's hard on the iPad to go up and down to revisit and copy your lines…Accept my sincere appologies. I think you are FAB!!!

  27. Not sure you need more affirmations from me as you have had a full house but I liked this a great deal and concur with most of the comments I've read. Always a joy to drop by your place, Tash.

  28. "Life's dark mysteries" indeed….I loved the rhyme and pacing here, the collage of death imagery that you keep filling in until this picture of death's mastery emerges, almost like a song. Great piece!Gene

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